TOP SECRET · CIDER CREEK ARCHIVES

The Conspiracy Series

Somewhere in the hills of Canisteo, something landed in the orchard. Captain LeZard has been fermenting the evidence ever since.

Release 001 · declassified

6.6% ABV · Blood orange · 100% New York apples

Get Release 001 — $10.99 Request clearance for 002

SIGHTING #47 — lights over the orchard, cans missing from the cold room / WITNESS: "it tasted like blood orange and the truth" / CROP CIRCLES SHAPED SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE APPLE CORES / RELEASE 002: DECLASSIFICATION IN PROGRESS / PILOT IDENTIFIED: SMALL, GREEN, EXTREMELY SMUG / CAPTAIN LEZARD WAS LAST SEEN NEAR THE FERMENTATION TANKS / CLEARANCE APPLICATIONS: PROCESSING / LEZARD: "no added sugar. no added water. no excuses." / COORDINATES INTERCEPTED: 42.27°N 77.60°W — THE ORCHARD / EXHIBIT C STILL MISSING / BATCH CODE ██-002 SEALED BY ORDER OF THE CAPTAIN / DO NOT ASK ABOUT RELEASE 003 / ANOMALY LOGGED: TANK ROOM HUMMING IN B FLAT / LEZARD: "the truth is in the can." / SIGHTING #47 — lights over the orchard, cans missing from the cold room / WITNESS: "it tasted like blood orange and the truth" / CROP CIRCLES SHAPED SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE APPLE CORES / RELEASE 002: DECLASSIFICATION IN PROGRESS / PILOT IDENTIFIED: SMALL, GREEN, EXTREMELY SMUG / CAPTAIN LEZARD WAS LAST SEEN NEAR THE FERMENTATION TANKS / CLEARANCE APPLICATIONS: PROCESSING / LEZARD: "no added sugar. no added water. no excuses." / COORDINATES INTERCEPTED: 42.27°N 77.60°W — THE ORCHARD / EXHIBIT C STILL MISSING / BATCH CODE ██-002 SEALED BY ORDER OF THE CAPTAIN / DO NOT ASK ABOUT RELEASE 003 / ANOMALY LOGGED: TANK ROOM HUMMING IN B FLAT / LEZARD: "the truth is in the can." /

Case file 2013-CC

Declassify the story

// hover or tap the redacted lines. we never said this was easy.

In the beginning there was only apples. Then, on a moonless night above , witnesses reported a low humming and a smell of .

The visitor identified himself only as . He inspected the tanks. He tasted the farmhouse original. He wept .

Before departing, he left coordinates, a formula, and one instruction: The Conspiracy Series is our attempt to honor it. Release by release. The truth is in the can.

Evidence locker

The releases

RELEASE 001 · DECLASSIFIED

Blood Orange Lizard Juice

6.6% ABV · Semi-dry · Gluten-free · 100% NY apples

Shop $10.99

RELEASE 002 · CLASSIFIED

[REDACTED]

DECLASSIFICATION IN PROGRESS · ██% COMPLETE

FLAVOR PROFILE: ▓▓█▓▓▓▓ · [SIGNAL LOST]

Drop coordinates transmit to clearance holders first.

Request clearance

RELEASE 003 · DEEP STORAGE

[REDACTED]

Do not ask about Release 003

Request clearance

Security clearance

Know before the humans do.

Clearance holders get the drop coordinates for Release 002 before anyone else — first taste, small batch, no re-supply.

21+ only. We transmit rarely and only when it matters.

Freedom of Information

Declassified files

FILE 001 — Who is Captain LeZard?

Fleet Sommelier of an unnamed armada. Impeccable palate. Strong opinions about added sugar (against). He guards the Conspiracy Series recipes and, we suspect, drinks most of the R&D batches.

FILE 002 — Is the cider actually different?

Same farm rules as everything we make: 100% New York apples, no added sugar, no added water, no artificial flavors. The Conspiracy Series is where the flavors get strange — the standards don't.

FILE 003 — When is Release 002?

[REDACTED]. Clearance holders find out first. That's the whole point of clearance.

FILE 004 — Can I wear the evidence?

Affirmative. LeZard field gear is being requisitioned. Check the Merch collection.